There is SO much fear going around these days with this worldwide Coronavirus situation. I know this is on the minds of just about everyone and we have all been affected, either directly or indirectly, by this pandemic.
I feel like those of us with a chronic illness or health problem are especially getting hit hard right now, in part because our physical and mental well-being is already in a more fragile state. And in part because the supplies that we rely so heavily on to keep us going may be in short supply now!
For me, having eczema covering my hands has meant that I have not been able to wash my hands AT ALL for months. This is obviously NOT good when we’re supposed to be thoroughly washing our hands often these days!
Read my eczema/chronic illness posts here
As I shared in this post, I have been relying on handy wipes to spot clean my hands for the past 7 months so far. I go through hundreds of handy wipes on a monthly basis. Now I am finding it impossible to buy them anywhere! Along with rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, peroxide and anything else that might possibly work to kill viruses and bacteria.
We do live in NYC, so I am sure my boyfriend would be able to locate some sort of alcohol-sanitizing product for me if he looked hard enough. However I don’t want to send him on a wild goose chase around the city with all the warnings these days to stay at home. I have a few dozen handy wipes left and right now I’m just trying to make them last as long as possible by cutting them into pieces and only using one little piece at a time. Yep, this is what it’s come to.
Bottled spring water is another one of my essentials that we’re finding increasingly hard to obtain. I have to soak my hands every evening in order to help them heal (I do hot and cold soaking therapy for 1 hour) and go through about 3 large bottles of water every day doing so. Like toilet paper, people seem to be hoarding water now which is frustrating!
Before this crisis hit, we used to place grocery delivery orders on a regular basis for pretty much all our essentials. It helped my boyfriend out a lot because it was one less thing he had to worry about doing while trying to juggle working full time, taking care of me and Meadow, plus the house. Now in a city with millions of people at home all trying to get groceries delivered, it’s really a shot in the dark whether we’re able to even get an order placed. On the days when we do, half the items we have ordered are out of stock.
My poor boyfriend is running to the health food store in our neighborhood almost every day (a 40-minute round trip walk) to pick up food & water for us and well.. it’s just been STRESSFUL. I am trying to help out where I can in small ways like making him a smoothie every morning since I can’t leave the house to run any errands.
One thing I am grateful for is that fruits and vegetables for the most part continue to be in stock. It actually baffles me! I mean I am not complaining at all… my diet is 100% fruits & veggies so if the produce department was bare, I’d pretty much starve. But it truly baffles me that during a health crisis people are stocking up on canned food, frozen food, meat, pasta, bread, and everything else EXCEPT the very things that are the most anti-viral and immune-supportive for us. Anyway… that is just my little health spiel.
Fruits & vege all the way!
I am continuing to eat healthy, vegan, with an emphasis on raw food – nothing has changed for me there. Healing and recovery are slow and truly one day at a time for me but I continue to see small improvements in my hands as time passes.
This is how they are looking right now:
They look SO much better than a few months ago, right?!! I am so thrilled :)))
The eczema is mostly gone but I do need to be careful as my skin is easily aggravated with spots of itching still occurring. As you can see there is still a great deal of swelling trapped in my right hand, with limited mobility in my fingers and joints.
I’m not going to lie, like most people I have had MANY moments of panic and fear and stress over the past couple weeks. There is so much uncertainty in the world. How long will things go on like this where countries are quarantined worldwide and most businesses shut down? What will life look like a month from now, 3 months from now?
At this point I have been house-bound for the past 7 months already, since August 2019, due to my chronic illness and not being able to wash my hands. I am in bed probably 20 out of 24 hours every day. I reckon I could stay house-bound for another year and that would still be ok because at this point it has become my life. I’m not sure whether that is sad or some weird sign of resilience (maybe a little of both!) but that’s how I feel.
It’s not the quarantine stuff I’m worried about. It’s not even catching Coronavirus that I’m worried about. It’s everything else.
I feel worried about losing work.
I feel worried about loved ones getting sick.
I feel worried about food shortages.
I feel worried about shortages of essential household items.
I feel worried about the economy.
I feel worried about rising anxiety levels.
I feel absolutely terrified of my rabbit getting sick. (Did you know there is also a rabbit virus going around NYC with an 80-100% fatality rate? As if there isn’t enough viral stuff to deal with already! THIS spreading around the country is terrifying to me.)
Yet at the same time, I feel that it’s so important to not get sucked down by the energy of all this. Yes, it is a scary time. But the best way we can help is by rising above fear, not going down with it.
Being in a state of fear and panic causes people to act irrationally and in extreme ways. It really saddened me to hear how gun sales have surged during this pandemic with so many people worried about how to protect their families and fight for resources.
This is an example of what fear will do when we allow it to take over.
Feeling safe is a core foundational requirement for our well-being. It’s our first chakra after all. If we don’t feel safe, everything else in our life and energy will be off.
But how can we possibly feel safe when the world is in a state of disaster and panic? How can we feel safe when our jobs may be on the line, when we’re unsure of whether we’ll have enough to eat, whether our loved ones will be ok?
I have been realizing more and more recently just how important it is to be able to give yourself the energy that you’re in need of. Create the feeling of SAFETY – in your environment, in your body, in your mind. We can rely on the world and others around us to (hopefully) influence our feelings and emotions in a way that is beneficial to our well-being. Or we can work on creating what we need more of ourselves.
We are way more powerful than we even realize. For example, we have the power to consciously take slow deep breaths, direct our thoughts away from the worst-case scenarios and onto something that brings us joy. We have the power to shift our state both into fear (by focusing on the things that scare and worry us) or out of fear (by focusing on the things we love, that light us up).
Of course I know how easy it is to forget this power we hold! Or dismiss it entirely by saying we know this stuff already or it’s not going to work. Knowing something and actually practicing something are two different things.
This is what I have been reminding myself of. And I want to remind you too, because we’re going through this together. Coming back to joy, to love, to light, to compassion…. these are all practices, things that we need to continually work on and strive towards. Today I may be feeling fine but two days from now, I may need a lot more support. This is ok and natural.
I want to share some of the things that have helped me the most during the past 7 months of my chronic illness quarantine. Fear, panic, agony, trauma… these were all things I felt ALL DAY EVERY DAY for many months during the worst of my eczema. From someone who has been to the depths of hell and back, bedridden and “quarantined” in the house for the past 7 months, the 3 tips I share below are what I consider were most essential to my getting through this difficult time:
1. Distract, distract, distract!
You must find ways to distract yourself. The more fear and panic you are feeling, the more distraction is required. Distraction helps pull you away from fear and gets your mind focused on something that feels lighter.
There are countless ways of distracting yourself. I’m sure you can think of many but I will list a few here:
-reading
-cooking
-crafting
-watching movies or shows
-cleaning
-dancing
-meditation
-writing
-painting
-exercise
-spending time with a pet
-gardening
-teaching yourself something
I spoke in an earlier post about how watching TV was the ONLY thing that was semi-effective in distracting me from the intense, relentless itching on my hands. Shows, YouTube videos, movies – these were my life savers, getting me through the hardest, most challenging time in my life. If you are really struggling, watching something light and fun is probably the easiest way to shift yourself to a better feeling place.
My eczema experience over the past 7 months has been quite humbling. As a meditation teacher, I used to think meditation was the be all end all, the prescription for healing everything. I don’t feel that way anymore and realize that different situations call for different approaches. Meditation works wonders IF you are able to meditate. If not… try some of the other distraction suggestions here and see how they work for you.
I am going to share the show that has helped me the most through my chronic illness, living in fear, panic, and agony every day. You guys are going to laugh because it’s a little kids show. Yes it’s a little embarrassing but I found so much healing through watching the kids TV series Arthur. I never watched this as a kid growing up but really wish that I had… it’s great! Before you totally write off watching stuff for kids, I will just say… I am in my mid-30s and nevertheless found this show to be well-written, funny, light-hearted, positive, silly, and surprisingly engaging. My boyfriend has watched episodes with me as well and really enjoyed them. For me, it was just what I needed to get me through a really panic-stricken, agonizing and traumatic period in life.
When I’m feeling truly awful, I feel like cartoons or videos of animals are what lift me up the most every time – they make me laugh and hold a light-hearted, innocent energy that brings healing and peace.
Find something to watch that you love, that feels positive and does not provoke stress, anger, fear or anxiety in you. There are tons of movies and shows out there that I’m sure are great but you have to be mindful of the overall feeling they leave you with. If a show or movie has you sitting on the edge of your seat, I’m not sure that is going to be helpful or healing.
Here are a few more recommendations of shows/videos/movies that have personally helped me through my chronic illness:
I really got into (read: OBSESSED WITH) a few British interior design shows on Netflix including “The Great Interior Design Challenge.” I highly recommend this show to anyone who, like me, loves to get crafty and make things look beautiful.
My neighbor shared her Disney Plus subscription with me – this in my opinion is a million times better than Netflix with SO many comforting, nostalgic shows and movies available. The subscription also gives you access to National Geographic.. need I say more?! I only wish I had discovered this during the worst of my eczema flares… I would not have gone looking for anything else to watch!
I recommend this YouTube channel for uplifting binge-watching with a success story always at the end. And this 90’s movie still makes me laugh my ass off, even if it is really dumb and ridiculous.
2. Routine creates safety
Even if you are suffering, find some sort of daily routine that’s doable for you and stick to it. When we know what we’re going to do everyday, this creates a feeling of safety. There was a period of time when I could not be out of bed for more than 10 minutes straight. I was that fatigued and rundown and overwhelmed by the severity of my eczema. But even with laying in bed all day everyday, I kept a very basic routine – drink lemon water upon waking, then green juice, then morning smoothie. Afternoons were spent working in bed. Evenings involved hand soaking. There were certain shows I liked to watch at certain times of the day.
We may not be able to control what’s happening out there in the world or even in our bodies, but our routine is one area where we can create structure and a feeling of predictability which is essential during times of crisis.
3. Pray for what you need to keep going
Where would I be without prayer? Probably not alive right now. I don’t say that lightly – I was really in a very low, very traumatic place during the worst of my eczema flares. I knew at the time that I needed more faith to hang in there and believe that I would heal, yet I didn’t know HOW to get to that place of keeping the faith. I felt hopeless and ready to give up. So I prayed to the angel of faith. I asked for help in restoring my faith in my body’s ability to heal. I asked for help in believing that healing was taking place deep inside even if I couldn’t see it right away. I turned this prayer into a routine that I kept up with every single day for weeks, always asking for my faith to be strengthened and restored. As each day passed, I could FEEL something in me get stronger – an irrefutable belief deep in my heart that everything would be ok. I started feeling more positive, more empowered, more certain that I would get past this.
I was having weekly phone sessions with a trauma coach at the time and I’ll never forget, there was a 2-week period where I couldn’t do a session with her because I was swamped in so much work. When we finally got to have our next session, my coach said she was shocked at how different I sounded. “Something big has shifted in you” she said. “Your whole energy is lighter. What have you been doing since we last spoke?” I told her about my daily prayer for faith and she encouraged me to keep it up, saying it was definitely working. I credit this daily prayer as what saved me while I was hanging onto life by a single thread. I know not everyone prays or is religious but I would say if you are really suffering, what have you got to lose by saying a prayer out loud for help?
Lastly, I want to share some of the things I am doing during this time of Coronavirus quarantine to help better prepare and move forward. These are just some practical things that I am personally choosing to do but in case you’re curious…
Make my own handy wipes
If you can get your hands on a bottle of rubbing alcohol (which I know is also scarce now!) and some essential oils, you can make your own hand sanitizing wipes. We have not been able to find rubbing alcohol in the store but thankfully I have half a bottle in the house which I am treasuring right now. I plan to use this and a roll of paper towels to make my own stack of handy wipes which will hopefully last through the next couple months.
Grow my own food
As we don’t know how long this Coronavirus quarantine will go on for, i feel it’s a good idea to prepare for the months ahead with growing some of my own food. Anything you can do to become a little more self-sufficient in life in general I think is important. I don’t have a big enough yard to do any major food growing, plus I’m not sure my body could even handle tons of gardening yet if I did. But even growing just a couple herbs or veggies in the yard can help to supplement my food supply. What I am planning on growing this spring is: tomatoes, cucumber, celery, lettuce, a few different types of herbs, and timothy grass for Meadow.
Clean up the house
While we’re not living in a pig sty or anything like that, let’s just say the house could use some serious cleaning and straightening up. As you can imagine, with me being bedridden for months and my bf overloaded with having to do everything, cleaning the house fell to the bottom of the to-do list. There’s a lot to get in order around here and I’m going to start trying to slowly chip away at things as my health gradually improves. Then there’s the backyard to think of which also needs to be prepped for gardening…
Cut all non-essential spending
There are a lot of people out of work right now and I suspect there will be a lot more in the coming weeks. Personally I am bracing for the worst. Yes, I have work coming in right now as a freelancer but will I still have work a month from now? Two months from now? I think it’s a smart move to be very mindful and conservative with spending until the economy is looking more stable. Basically if it’s not food, supplements, or essential household supplies, I’m not buying it right now. Any extra money I have is getting put into an emergency savings fund… just in case.
Stay off the news!
For the past couple weeks I have found myself reading a lot of news about the Coronavirus against my better judgment (I have not followed the news in a LONG time, at least 7 or 8 years, and honestly have lived a more peaceful life because of it). During the past couple weeks I have never felt so much unrelenting anxiety, fear and panic (even more than during the worst of my eczema flares!) and have realized that the more news articles I consume, the more panic-stricken I become. I have also realized just how addicting the news really is – I went from reading one news article to checking for updates on Coronavirus multiple times per day and basically living in a permanent state of anxiety. At one point I even felt like I would have a panic attack, that’s how much fear I had coursing through my veins. Sure, it’s important to know what’s going on – to a point – but if you are an empath and highly sensitive person like I am, I feel it’s also important to be mindful of what you can and can’t handle. My mental health is important to me – so I’ll be taking a break from any more news for a while.
Continue to focus on healing
There is so much that depends on my health. I need to keep working towards better health and focus on things like rest, naps, laying in bed, eating frequently, taking care of my emotions, and so on. Also just generally remembering where I came from. It was not too long ago that I couldn’t be out of bed for more than 10 minutes at a time. It was not too long ago that I couldn’t make any of my own food, that I would spend every day in tears and agony. I spend the bulk of my day now sitting up in bed getting work done and easily put in 2-3 hours worth of cooking for myself every day. These are massive improvements and a cause to celebrate! I want to keep moving forward and this requires patience and dedication and keeping my eye on the prize (the prize being healthier than I’ve ever been before!)
I hope some of these tips and suggestions I have listed are useful during this difficult time or any difficult time you may be going through.
For more helpful resources, check out my last blog post here on surviving adversity – although it’s focused on eczema, most of the tips I share apply to anyone who is suffering, struggling, or going through a hard time.
Like this post? You'll LOVE my newsletter
Hop on my list for wellness inspiration, health tips, and stories I don't share anywhere else. I write these love notes for YOU!