Story time 🙂

Sit back and grab a cup of tea because this is a long one. But an important story that I need to share on the blog because it literally feels like a miracle.

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that I’ve been living basically like a nomad for the past year and change. This hasn’t been a totally bad thing – it’s what has allowed me to travel so much, work for myself, and just have a lot more freedom in my life in general. In spite of all this, a big part of me has been craving to be more settled with a home of my own as I’ve mentioned previously here and here in the past.

I am not a city girl and moving to a warm tropical area surrounded by nature is still my big dream! But for some family-related reasons, I need to stay close to the NYC-metro area for the time being. At least part of the year I have to be here. Knowing this and making my peace with this, I’ve been determined to find the absolute best possible place that would make me feel like I’m living in suburbia!😂

As you might imagine, this is no easy task in a concrete jungle where a tiny box that costs $$$$$ is basically the norm.

I wholeheartedly believe in the power of manifestation though and at the beginning of this year I sat down and wrote out a long list of everything I wanted in a home. Basically my NYC dream home:

– a 2-story house in Astoria (a suburban-ish neighborhood close to Manhattan)
– specifically a house – no apartment buildings or complexes
– 2 bedrooms, with at least one of them being king-size – the smaller one would become an office
– a backyard with grass and plants
– spacious sun-filled rooms
– at least 1,000 square feet
– windows in every room
– views of trees and plant life outside
– an open eat-in kitchen with an island or space for an island
– all hardwood floors (no carpets)
– a bathtub
– lots of closet space
– space to store a bike
– an outdoor area where I can grow a garden
– the bedroom windows facing east so they receive direct sunlight in the morning
– small pets allowed
– located on a tree-lined street in a clean, quiet area
– within a 15-20 minute walk of my favourite organic health food stores
– friendly, laid-back landlord who lives off property
– feels and looks beautiful and clean

This is insanely specific I realise. But this was my dream and I believe in dreaming big.

There’s more. I not only wrote down the area I wanted to find a house in but I wrote the exact specific section of the neighborhood that I wanted to be in – an area consisting of about 10 blocks between four avenues that I thought was especially nice. I also wrote down the price range I wanted the house to be in.

Writing things out is a powerful way to become crystal clear on what you’re trying to manifest.

I wasn’t sure how any of this would come about… it actually felt pretty impossible because I was asking for a million specific things in an area where this kind of place is already rare! Real estate brokers laughed at me when I told them what I wanted. “I don’t have ANY listings like that in your price range,” was basically the response I got. I was informed that a place like this would be going for at least $2500 a month – IF it even existed and became available at all. I was looking to spend waay less than this. (By the way, if these prices seem insane… I AGREE!!! NYC rent prices🙈 And in Manhattan and many trendy parts of Brooklyn, it’s so much more).

Friends told me that I should lower my expectations, that I was being too picky and should just settle for a place that looked decent because the whole package I wanted wasn’t out there. Not in NYC.

I have not been one to buy into this type of thinking. I believe there are always amazing deals to be found, there are always gems out there. There are always pinch-me-I’m-dreaming situations you can luck into. You just have to be patient enough to wait for them. The last apartment I had in NYC up until the beginning of 2017 was a total gem – I was paying $600/month for a master bedroom with private bath (part of a 3-bedroom share that included an eat-in kitchen and balcony). This is an anomaly in NYC but it exists – I have experienced it first hand!

And here’s the thing – I KNEW the kind of place I was looking for exists IN NYC because I’d seen it before.

Last summer when I returned to the states from Southeast Asia, I actually looked for a house to move into for a brief period in time. And last summer I found a home in Astoria that included everything above except for the grassy backyard – there was actually a concrete yard but HUGE, bigger than the entire inside of the house put together! There were oak and willow trees surrounding the property with their branches dipping into the backyard so even though there was no actual grass, the property felt connected to nature. The energy of the whole place felt open and expansive.

I fell in love with this house – pictured myself doing meditations outside underneath the stars, setting up a picnic table in the backyard, growing a huge potted plant and herb garden, letting my bunny run around and play in the fenced in yard while I worked on my laptop outside in the sun. This place felt absolutely perfect. I applied to move in and almost got it too…. but the landlord had a strict no pets policy and would not budge on it. The application was denied because of my bunny (who ironically ended up passing away just a few months later).

Getting turned down for that house was a huge blow for me because I wanted to live there SO BADLY. Since then, I have probably seen over 50 other listings at various points whenever I’ve been in NYC – but I never forgot about that house last summer and how magnificent it had been.

“If I found it once, I’ll find it again.” This has always been my motto for everything in life. For jobs I’ve loved, places I’ve loved, people I’ve loved…. If I found it once, it exists in the world. It’s out there! And I’ll find it again.

Keeping the layout of that dream house in the back of my mind is what I believe helped manifest what came into my life this year.

Would you believe me if I told you that I manifested my NYC dream house not once but twice??

At the beginning of this year I made a commitment to myself to start doing energy clearings on a daily basis. Not just any kind of energy clearings though but specific ones that I like to use for manifesting things. These clearings are largely what I used to heal my feet years ago when I couldn’t walk.

(By the way, you’d think I would have kept them up consistently after that whole life-changing debacle!🙈 But you know… time passes and when you’re not in a desperate kind of state with something urgent that needs fixing, you stop prioritising the work. Other life stuff becomes more important. I feel like we humans are often motivated by pain more than anything else. When things get bad enough, when we feel desperate enough or fed up enough, only then do we seek to make big changes and commit to hard work).

In any case… at the beginning of this year I felt frustrated. There were things I was trying to get but felt totally stuck on. There was a life I was dreaming of and part of it (the working from home and travel part) had become a reality for me but the other half (actually having a permanent home LOL!!) felt so out of reach. And I decided I had had enough. I was aware enough to realise that the problem was not any outside circumstances in my way; the problem was me and the energy I was currently holding onto. I decided at the start of this year that there was no freaking way that energetic blocks were going to remain a part of my life. That even if it took the whole damn year, I was going to dissolve every block that was holding me back from getting the kind of life I was dreaming of.

I didn’t set out to manifest a house. I set out to manifest money – because I was starting to feel like the only way I’d be able to get the kind of home I wanted was if I started making enough money to pay the $2500/month rent that it might require!

One week after I returned from Belize last month, I was in the middle of meditating and heard a voice in my head. “Go look on craigslist now.”

I followed the voice – I’m not sure if it was my intuition or a psychic hit or message from my guides. I have no idea… I just know that it came with a very deep and insistent pull – a NEED to get on craigslist and check apartments for rent right away.

I had not been on craigslist to look for a place in a couple months because I was tired of plugging in my search criteria and finding literally nothing. Or maybe a creepy looking basement apt that had no windows but a nice looking yard!

This time I plugged in my criteria and an apt came up. It had been listed just the day before and the picture caught my eye immediately. A 1,000 square foot 2-bedroom apt in a 2-story house with huge eat-in kitchen, bathtub, large windows in every room, a backyard, a deck…(what??!) – smack in the middle of the specific part of the neighborhood I had written down in my notebook. The asking price was the maximum rent that I was willing to pay.

I flipped out.

I contacted the realtor right away and asked if I could come by to check out the house that day. Walking over there I felt so peaceful like I just KNEW. I had such a good feeling about it and… it was PERFECT. It was spacious and light-filled and well taken care of. Ceiling fans in every room, big windows, the kitchen was big enough to fit a table with chairs AND an island, and being out on the huge deck with views of large oak and pine trees made me feel like I was living in upstate NY.

The broker mentioned that although the craigslist post had just gone up the other day, the apt had actually been listed for a week or two on another rental site with no takers yet. In the NYC rental market, places literally get snatched up the same day they get posted. That’s how crazy and in-demand housing is here! So I didn’t understand why this was still on the market.

“Why is this place not rented already?” I asked the broker.

“I know, it’s strange,” he replied. “This place is a steal. Everyone who has wanted it so far has a dog though… and the owner isn’t crazy about having dogs in here. If it comes to that he’s ok with it but he’d rather find a tenant without a dog…”

I felt like it was meant to be.

“Are rabbits ok to have if I wanted to get one?” I tentatively asked. Yes, a rabbit would be fine.

I left that apt and cried. I could not believe how perfect and aligned it all felt. I am meant to have this place. I put my application and rent deposit down that very day, rushing to get all the documents together. I should have felt ecstatic. I was finally getting my own home!! And not just any home but the home of my dreams! All requirements and desires fulfilled!

But inside I was also freaking out.

I had not planned to find a place to move into so soon. This whole apt thing felt like it came up out of nowhere and yes it felt amazing but it also felt totally overwhelming. I started second guessing my initial enthusiasm and questioning whether taking this place was even a good idea.

The rent is on the high side of what I wanted to pay.
This might make money really tight… what if I can’t afford it?
What if I lock myself into a lease and then can’t travel anymore?
What if I’m making a big mistake?
What if I don’t have enough clients or work in the future and can’t make rent?
What if I can’t afford to buy food?
What if something happens like an emergency and I don’t have enough money?

As you can see my fear was spiraling out of control. Long story short… I ended up asking for my deposit back because I totally chickened out! Fear got the best of me and I did not know how to deal with it.

But I did tell myself this:

Against all odds you found this place. YOU manifested it. And it will come again. You found it last summer. You found it again now. It’s a diamond in the rough but you WILL find it again. There is nothing to worry about because when you’re truly ready, it will show up in your life again.

Oh my goodness!!

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from reading this whole post, it’s the TRUTH that this statement contains. Sometimes I feel like we can get ourselves all worked up over missing the opportunity. We do things and agree to things because we feel like we might not get the chance again. We feel like this might be our only chance.

I used to believe this but now I believe that there is no need to worry about missing the opportunity because when we ALIGN OUR ENERGY, the opportunities come to us. And even if we don’t take it the first time, the universe will keep bringing it to us in different forms over and over again, until we finally take it.

Because when our energy is consistently aligned with what we want, we continue to receive more of what we want.

I believe this with all my heart and I want you to believe in this too which is why I’m telling this story. It feels like and is a total miracle.

++

Fast forward to earlier this month – April.

I had been keeping up with all my daily energy work since mid-January and also had added meditations on embracing change to the mix. I knew the big reason I hadn’t gone through with renting that house was because I was afraid to trust change. It didn’t feel safe. For that matter, trusting in abundance didn’t feel good or safe either. I had a ton of limiting beliefs to clear out!

This month the floodgates totally opened. I manifested not one but pretty much ALL of the big things I had been asking for.

– the new $800 camera I wanted that I had put into my energy clearings… got it.
– all the camera equipment… got it.
– the trip to FL that I asked for… got it.
– the money I asked for… I’ve received over $2,500 this month already from a variety of sources, none of which I was expecting! (and this is in addition to the money I normally make each month).
– Additionally, I was made aware of a way to wipe out the remainder of my college debt which would amount to several thousand dollars that I won’t have to pay back (I didn’t ask for this but this is AMAZING!)
– I received a new opportunity with a client that basically will cover extra living expenses that I’ll have when I move so I feel less stressed about money.

And yes… I’m moving!

Because my dream house, I just got it.

A few days ago I was meditating in the morning and once again I heard the voice. “Go look on craigslist now.”

This again, I thought. I know how this ends up. And before I even looked, I just KNEW. My dream house is here.

Sure enough, I plugged in my search criteria and it came up. Actually TWO listings came up. Both houses, both 2-bedrooms, both with backyards and tons of windows and 1,000 square feet of space. I looked at the first listing. It was kind of hard to tell much from it because only two pictures were included, one of which looked like a bedroom.. and the other was of the backyard, a small plot of grassy garden full of vines and ivy growing along the fencing.

That is my place! I just KNEW. I can’t explain how but I just knew. It felt magical.

I checked out the second listing and it actually looked WAY better than the first. They included more pictures and I was in awe looking through — this apt had two huge king-size bedrooms, a kitchen that looked just as big with multiple large windows and sprawling granite counter space that included an island, a massive living room with humongous bay windows, shining smooth hardwood floors, views of trees outside. It was two blocks from a subway station, had a huge backyard, and the asking price was just at the top of my price range.

This house looked like a mansion to me from the pictures. I should have wanted that one. But something in me just KNEW. That’s not my place. This is someone else’s place. The first house with the small wild garden is mine.

I checked the listing and saw it had been posted just the day before. It was also being rented by the landlord herself, which meant no broker fee. Could it still be available??

It was 8am but I texted her and said I was interested and curious if it was still available. “If you can get here in the next hour, I can show it to you” she replied.

I never booked it somewhere so fast in my life.

This house had SO much space! I’m really not sure why more pics hadn’t been posted but I think she was just in a rush. Both bedrooms were king size. The living room was just as large. Windows in every room. There were a total of 5 closets, unheard of in NYC! A closet in each bedroom, plus a coat closet in the hallway, a towel closet in the hallway and a bike closet. NO FREAKIN WAY… a place to store a bike, just like I had asked for!!

The kitchen was eat-in with enough space for a large table and had a door leading out to the backyard. Whoever lived there before clearly loved and valued nature because the backyard, although very small, was filled with life. I found kale growing and tulip flowers and a small cherry tree, green vines and a string of christmas lights along the fencing, a bird feeder and bird bath off to the side. Potted plants dotting the property.

This is a fairy garden, I thought. And this is my place.

I asked about getting an application and that’s when I learned from the landlord – 4 other people were already interested and had applied for the house! I was confused why it was even being shown to me in that case but it seemed like she still had reservations.

“I’m feeling really overwhelmed with the amount of applicants already,” she confided. “And brokers came by uninvited and brought tons of people over to see the place and everyone is saying ‘I have money for you right now, I’m ready to move in’ and I don’t know what to do. I just want to rent it to a nice person who doesn’t have to pay a broker fee. If you want to apply and you’re  really serious about it, you can fill out an application and my husband will decide from all the applicants who’s most qualified.”

Strangely I didn’t even feel dissuaded by all this because that inner knowing continued to stay with me. I kept hearing this voice inside say, “This place hasn’t been rented yet because it’s meant to be yours. This is a gift from the universe. If you apply for it, it’s yours.”

The rest happened so smoothly and effortlessly and quickly and perfectly. I took an application and before I even sent it in I received a text from the landlord saying, “Honestly I’m overwhelmed by the number of responses for this place. But you seem like a nice person and a great fit. If you want the place, it’s yours.”

Somehow I beat out 4 other applicants who were there before me and got this house.

Somehow I got pretty much every single thing on the list that I had been asking for.

And somehow, I got all this for a price way below market value – a price that I had ideally wanted to pay.

I could say that I feel surprised but in truth I don’t even feel that way because I knew it was out there! I knew it would show up eventually. I just feel grateful. Incredibly abundant. And EXCITED for things to come!

In about a month I’ll be officially moving back to Astoria. But this time, into my very own house.

And there’s so much more to come, I can feel it. I see a new bunny coming into my life soon, a fluffy baby girl bunny who’s coming my way – and yes, this place allows rabbits! I see tons of gardening and plant life blossoming throughout my home. Cooking and dancing in the kitchen. More travel this year in my future. And there’s more but I don’t want to say everything just yet… some dreams feel sacred and I need to keep them nestled close to my heart for now. But all this, this is just the beginning.

I still feel the fear creep up every once in a while because this is a really big and scary step for me. I haven’t been on a lease in like 10 years. I’ve never had my own place before. I’ve never not lived with roommates. I’ve never allowed myself to have this much abundance in my life because I’ve had so many hangups over money. I get uncomfortable making big financial commitments and would much rather have the freedom to pick up and go elsewhere whenever I choose.

But when I start feeling this way, when I feel the fear start to creep back in, I remind myself to stay connected. I connect back in with that part of myself that feels totally carried and supported by the universe and I remind myself that the universe doesn’t bring us this far to suddenly drop us now. We don’t have to have it all figured out. The most important thing is just taking that next step towards what you want – for me, this feels like the next step. If it turns out down the line to not be a good decision anymore, you figure it out then and address it then. Everything in life is figureoutable. Nothing is set in stone.

We must be willing to take risks in order to grow and expand and become more of who we’re meant to be.

++

I want you to know that this is possible for everyone. Nothing I’ve done here is special – nothing I’ve done to manifest all this abundance is part of some ability that only I have the power to create.

Manifesting is just a muscle that needs to be flexed; a tool that needs to be learned! Things don’t happen overnight. It’s taken me since mid-January to clear out my energetic patterns enough so that something like this could even show up. It’s taken daily work and a commitment to keep the work up even when I don’t feel like it. This is similar to when I healed my feet using energy – it took nearly a month for changes to show up then as well. And I was meditating for the majority of the day when I couldn’t walk.

Still… waiting a few months to get what you’ve been dreaming about is practically nothing! I had been wanting my own place since last summer and it’s not like I wasn’t actively looking for much of that time – I was. It’s only when I started going at it from an energetic perspective that things really took off.

When you align your energy, you make it possible for the impossible to come about.

I feel so passionate about this, the same kind of passion and enthusiasm for this process is coming back just as when I healed my feet and I really want to share this more with others! Energy is EVERYTHING. I want to teach others how to manifest what they want. I want to create some sort of offering that’s different from my coaching, maybe an ebook or workshop or something lower in price that allows more people to really play with these tools and experience shifts in their own lives. I’m not sure what it will look like yet.. I feel like I’m really getting ahead of myself here but I could literally talk about energy all day! And this stuff WORKS and it’s important for people to know so we become more empowered and able to create change in our lives.

I hope you feel inspired reading this. I hope this story gives you as much hope as it does for me and motivates you to really prioritise your inner world just as much as your outer. If not even more! If nothing else, I hope this story helps you believe a little more in M A G I C. We are such powerful creators… we can manifest anything that we put our mind to!

Everything in my life is about to change, just as it did last year. This time though, I feel ready.

---